An with that another weekend of freedom disappears. Next week, Comicon attacks! I shall be ready to counterattack with pictures! Judging from the last years I was there,the videogame presence has only increased. I’ll try to check out some new games and win a few contests!
Whee!
That title isn’t just a stab at the Wii either. I know the Wii can push some pretty nice visuals, most of them coming from Nintendo itself, but I digress.
So it seems Activision is trying to squeeze some more life out of the bond franchise (their new bond game is named “blood stone” if that’s any indication of their motives) by riding the “GoldenEye” name gravy train straight to sales ville. I think EA tried this a few years back with “GoldenEye: Rouge Agent” but I’m pretty sure everyone saw through the facade. So here we are on the cusp of a new “GoldenEye” game coming out… let’s take a look.
Looks like a pretty fun time, no? I especially like the fangasm that happens after it is made clear a new GoldenEye game would be coming. “OH MY GODDBLLARRRGGGEEBLLOWWMEELLEARLJRARGG!” If you notice, they totally forgot about that “other” GoldenEye game that came out a few years ago, since the person running this weird focus group totally made it seem like it never happened. Ok, let’s start over.
First, “GoldenEye” is not a brand or series name. It was a game based off of the James Bond movie, GoldenEye. This distinction should be made. The reason this distinction is NOT being made is companies are greedy, and rather than making a good bond game from the ground up, they are content with trying to use the name of the only universally loved bond game to schlock crappy product. Second, even though there are some legal squabbles and what not, instead of making a new game that retains just enough of the old one to get the skeptics interested all parties should be focusing on doing a re release of the N64 classic, like Perfect Dark got on XBLA. People want GoldenEye… like, the original game. They don’t want a new game in the universe of GoldenEye, though that is what certain companies seem to think. Third, if you are going to re imagine the game anyway and ignore the fact people just want an updated version of the original, it should be stressed that it is cutting edge… people should NOT be discussing how it looks marginally different than the N64 version. That is a huge fail; the Wii can do some nice graphics, but if you’re gonna be sloppy, might as well put it on 360 and Ps3, that way the higher resolution will make it seem like it looks better.
So let’s review:
1. Stop milking the GoldenEye name, you’re gonna look stupid when the game fails.
2. People want an updated remake of the original, stop trying to make it more than it is. (This is actually the easiest part, you already have the game, set things straight between Nintendo and Microsoft and put it out for both systems, don’t mess it up. I’m looking at you Activision)
3. If you insist on re imagining the game, don’t proceed to make it look so dated that everyone gets mad because you’re releasing a game with the same graphics as the original.
Sigh… I guess if Activision’s tactic is to create a new GoldenEye that is worst than the N64 original but is getting people to pay 50 bucks for said de-make, the fault is not theirs; it is the idiots who buy it.
Microsoft’s Summer of Arcade is a pretty cool idea: release a string of high profile, lower priced Xbox Live Arcade games over the summer. This way, over the summer you can enjoy more casual games while out doing whatever else you’re doing (I’m joking about that, you’re sitting at home eating gamer grub) and not pay too much for it. Unfortunately with every silver lining there’s a dark cloud… or something like that.
The summer of arcade ’010 includes five games: Limbo, Hydro Thunder Hurricane, Castlevania Harmony of Despair, Monday Night Combat, and Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light.
Limbo looks pretty interesting, like a cross between Braid, Steamboat Willie, and the 2D platforming sections of Super Mario Galaxy 2. Puzzles and gravity changes about, it seems like it could be a fun little game!
Hydro Thunder Hurricane looks like, pun intended, a shitstorm. It’s the same game you played in your local movie theater; just get a quarter or two to refresh your memory and pass on this one.
Castlevania: Harmony of Despair (they really need to lighten up these titles, they’re getting ridiculous, even if they’re just trying to make it stand for “HD”. How about Castlevania: Hot n’ Delicious? I’d buy it! Would YOU pass on something hot and delicious? Yes, TWSS) is another game in the long running, well, Castlevania series. This time, though, the focus is on co-op. It’s a mashup of many different Castlevania games, resembling the DS ones, but you can also choose to play from characters from past installments, like Alucard and Soma. Should be fun with some friends, just dont expect the full Single Player treatment here.
Monday Night Combat looks too stupid for me to want to even check out. It might be the best game in the lineup, but I can’t bring myself to get past the stupid title or the stupid premise. Pass until I stop vomiting.
Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light looks like a fun co-op experience, where one character gets boobs and the other gets a blast to the past. God knows a “guardian” has to be some voodoo looking native fool, like part of some tribe that guards… light. Heck, it probably isn’t even related to that guy, but I don’t care! Working together and tackling obstacles, this game will probably push peoples limits on cooperation. Gears of War is one thing, you just need to shoot people, Lara Croft takes actual cooperation to solve some puzzles.
And there you have it! I hope this summer of games will not suck. In the order above, each game will release starting with Limbo on the 21st of July, each game coming exactly one week after the other and finishing off with Lara Croft hitting August 18th. If I actually end up buying any of these, I will do a Semi-Review… or post a link to someone who did.
-Big Daddy
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